Blog /Soul Train

An underlying sense of counting down – A rhythm deep: a defeated force has overcome me. I fret and frown only wading in the muck existing here in what is blackened life. Feeling enshrined in overwhelming strife. Darkness is slowly pulling me under. I yell for help but no one is there to hear it. The darkness won't let go of its hold on me. For, I stand at the boundary of light and darkness. All of the strength All of the courage that I once held in my heart is no longer there. No one can save me. I don't want to fight anymore There is no more possibility. Time has come to halt all the pain, so I can now relish into eternity. I want to be gone out of this world of conscientiousness, undetected by the occupants of this world. I've given into darkness. Goodbye forever… Or so I thought. Today, I am alive and I continue to rise! Above is a poem about feelings I have felt about ending my own life. Suicide is a tragic event, and I share my story on surviving suicide to shed light on darkness. I want to cast light into the areas of shadows. This past week, Don Cornelius shot himself in the head, allegedly taking his own life. We lost a legacy that impacted pop culture and gave significant influence to that of black performers. Don Cornelius was the founder and host of Soul Train. However, his son Tony Cornelius said in a CBS interview that his father was "very unhappy about some things" and had health problems. Today I take a stand. It’s time to deal with the horrific pain many people face and help others through their grief, as opposed to them taking their own lives. All creatures instinctually value life. Even a blade of grass or flower fights for the privilege of life. It’s time to listen carefully to the stories of others so our knowledge of suicide can deepen and grow. If we persist in this process, digging and sifting, like rocks beneath the surface of a plowed field; the reality of suicide can end. Some suicides may be sudden and impulsive; others are the result of dealing with hardship and pain over many weeks, months, or even years. From my personal experience, a person who is considering suicide is experiencing severe stress and is at a serious personal crisis. Risk increases as the crisis, or the individual's perception of it, worsens. Feelings of control and self-esteem deteriorate. Shame and guilt may lead to self-alienation and isolation. Suicide is completed when the emotional pain is so unbearable that death is seen as the only relief. Suicide is a result of extreme hopelessness and helplessness. The contemplation of suicide comes to those who feel that nothing or no one can help them. Not only does the person who has taken their life end, suicide has repercussions for everyone involved. The grief it causes is intense and prolonged. The loss of a loved one who committed suicide is forever felt. This I know, because my cousin recently took her own life. Why? I do not know. What I do know is that her face will never be seen again, her voice will never be heard again. She is forever missed and many people have been hurt. The darkness need not surround us! No more struggling… No more pain…. "Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it." ~ By Mother Teresa