Blog /Mental Health

I'm a city girl. I love the bright lights and skyscrapers. I love the bustle, like the hustle. But I have some rural roots. My maternal grandmother grew up on a farm in a quaint Mississippi town. Ever heard of Edwards, Miss.? What about Gilmer, Texas? That's where my paternal grandparents are from.

Recently I've been interested in rural areas, particularly how residents access mental health care. It began after listening to a great series on this issue from the Northwest News Network earlier this year. Attending "The Future of Rural Mental Health Services" workshop at Alternatives was a priority on my list.

The Frontier Leadership Network (FLN) hosted this workshop and I learned a lot. The census classifies counties into three categories: urban, rural, and frontier. Urban is a city of course. Rural is a population or territory outside of an urban area. Frontier counties have less than 15,000 people, said Rollin Shelton from FLN. Or as FLN President Theresa Bingham-Abbot explained, she defines frontier counties as those where you have to travel at least 100 miles before seeing a community or farmhouse.

Shelton shared that in Oregon, there's a mountain range that runs straight through the middle of the entire state called the Cascade Range. The range has a lot of land but roughly 500,000 people live there. About 60% of Oregon's 3.8million population lives in urban areas. But for a long time there was only one, ONE, peer-run org in the Cascade. The org was in the Western area. Rollin Shelton told us the FLN was formed to get a peer run org in the Eastern Cascade and build networks with people interested in mental health care and peer-run orgs. It wasn't easy. He applied for Statewide Consumer Network grants from SAHMSMA, asked for donations, and worked with counties to get support.

Georgia Osborn broke down how rural and frontier culture impacts access to mental health care. She lives in a town of 150 people. The closest grocery story is 31 miles away (I was thinking, that's a shopping trip where you need a list). Like the grocery store, access to mental health care can be just as far away even frather. Distance is a huge issue along with lack of public transportation to reach services. Which makes isolation another problem for someone in crisis. Often these communities are close-knit. Some communities may not be receptive to outsiders who want to inform people about mental health. Osborn also noted stigma in close communities. The rumor mill works quickly in these kind of areas. And if someone is suffering from a mental health challenge, they don't want the whole town in their personal business. Poverty is another factor too.

Here's where I'm thankful for internet technology. Theresa Bingham-Abbot shared how people in rural and frontier areas are using technology for their own wellness and build peer support:

Tele-psychiatry
Therapists use certain software to counsel people over the computer.

Tele-conference
Peer support groups can host conference calls or online conference meetings.

Online Support Groups
Theresa warned that you have to be careful with these groups because some may "lead you astray" and not provide the best advice.

Warmlines
Similar to hotlines, just more comforting. People can call warmlines when they need someone to talk to.

Webinars
Great for those who work in peer-run orgs and want to educate others on how they can serve their areas.

Mail
Theresa says they still send out fliers to spread the word about mental health and future FLN projects.

Touring
Peers hop in their cars and trucks and go to the people who need help.

I enjoyed this workshop and applaud what FLN and other peer groups in rural/frontier areas do. It's harder for them to get access to resources, but they know people out there need help and they're making sacrifices to reach others.
 

I am so not a morning person. And it took every drop of energy in my body to rise from my warm bed and make the 7am Day of Prayer. However, I was in for a lovely surprise. The Day of Prayer takes place in communities across the country for National Mental Health Awareness Week. As stated on the event's flier, at the Day of Prayer we "send prayers and inspirational messages to restore mental wellness in our communities."

When I arrived to the plaza in Downtown Oakland, there was a peaceful energy blanketing the streets. Our video specialist was quietly setting up for his shoot. I watched participants decorating a statue with bright-colored paper cranes. And the sun was just starting to peak over Lake Merritt. Then a blessing arrived in the form of a Noah's Bagels deliveryman. The bagels and coffee seemed to taste even better that morning.

We heard from people of various spiritual practices: Islam, Christianity, Sikhism, non-religious faiths and others. All explained how spirituality helps them get through their mental health challenges. While snapping pictures I couldn't help but notice all of the people from various faiths praying together. It was beautiful. So many people throughout the history of humankind have been persecuted for their religious beliefs. Yet we all came together with our Qurans, crosses, chants, beads and sent up our prayers for one common cause: mental health. We prayed for peace. We prayed for the ones living and suffering. We prayed for the ones we lost, most recently Black Men Speak Founders Dewitt Buckingham and Darnell Levingston. And we prayed for ourselves. If only the entire world was just like this moment, this peaceful space. There would be less trauma, less wars. Peace does wonders for wellness. 

I was so moved by the unity and religious acceptance that when the day's organizer, Minister Monique Tarver, opened the floor for us to make comments I went to speak. I saw a look of surprise on Minister Tarver's face. She told me later she was pleasantly surprised to see me come up because I usually work behind the camera at events. Honestly, I was surprised I went up to speak. I didn't have much to say to the crowd. Okay, of course I pitched our podcast (my colleagues tease me because I do that anytime I'm in in front of a crowd). Honestly, I just wanted to express how I valued the beautiful moment and that spirituality has benefited my mental wellness. 

Mindfulness meditation slows down my racing mind when I feel anxiety kicking into gear. Prayer eases my worries and uplifts me when I get a case of the blues. Gospel music takes me higher and fuels me through tough times. And it manifests the joy in my heart when I'm feeling grateful. Then there's nature. Gloriously tall trees, the smell of fresh leaves, bright flowers, quiet streams — all ground me. Being around nature reminds me that there's something greater than myself, my problems and my joys. It truly puts me in a peaceful state of awe.

The Day of Prayer was a nice start to the rest of the day. Our Empowerment Coordinator Yaffa Alter writes beautiful prayers that I think just about one from any faith can appreciate. She read the event's invocation. Her closing verse sums up what I took away from the day:

Let us unite peacefully with compassion on the whole human family; take away the controversial teachings of arrogance, divisions and hatreds. Let us not only stay alive but be alive bringing the body, mind, and heart together, having wisdom to govern among the conflicting interests and issues of our times and live life with justice, peace and harmony. ASE!  

I’ve been California dreaming since I was a plastic barrette wearing, double- dutch loving, Brooklyn kid with ashy knees. I wanted to be a movie star, an actress, a singer, or really just anyone else. Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t escape the one thing that was always there, my depression. Depression was like a shadow; depending on the lighting it could be all encompassing or very tiny. I was told I was “too dramatic” or “too sensitive”, but really I was just in “too much pain”. When my mother took me to Georgia to start a new life, I couldn’t wait to get back home to New York. My dream came true, and for a while I flourished back home in a city of tall skyscrapers, oozy cheese pizzas, electric lights, and bodegas.

 The city pulsed through me, but I couldn’t keep up with that never-ending tempo. Soon, I felt like I was being trampled by the job uncertainty, unhealthy relationships, and no boundaries. The shadow of depression grew larger and larger. So much so that I had to relocate back to the last place I ever wanted to be, Georgia. But a strange and wonderful thing happened while being in Georgia, I found my voice. This voice wanted to tell a story with a good ending. This voice left a job after experiencing discrimination for having depression. This voice spoke to my California dreams of a Mental Health Services Act and told me to move. Amongst a laundry list of things, this act allows for increased funding to support county mental health programs statewide.

So I packed my bags, and drove cross-country to see what California had to offer. Apparently, California had PEERS, a consumer-run family, doing the work I was meant to do with love and support and no judgment. I am the Statewide Project Coordinator for PEERS. This so much better than a dream, because I’m awake and its real.

By Guest Blogger: Erica Thompson, TAYi

Pablo Picasso once said, "Painting is just another way of keeping a diary." On April 14, 2012 members of the Transition Age Youth Commission gathered together for the first Art of View Project. This project was led by Pedro Alvarez. Members were given white canvases and brushes and were asked to paint what was on their minds. The juices within our brains were flowing with originality. I painted a black silhouette of a dancer twirling behind a pink wash, since I always wanted to be a ballerina as a child. The ballerina is black and has dreadlocks. I wanted her to be black on purpose since there are so few black ballerinas.

Because my mother lacked the funds I never got to pursue ballet. Yet that didn't stop me. After my first psychotic break when I turned 17, I decided I wanted to do something for myself. I looked intensively for adult ballet classes and found one at the Berkeley Ballet Theatre in Berkeley, California. To this day, I am still dancing, except this time to another genre — Zumba, a Latin-dance inspired fitness program. 

I also painted a drawing of a young girl with an afro saying "Black is beautiful." I feel like we live in a society today where being black is not sought as beautiful in comparison with other races, when in fact black women are some of the most beautiful women. We come in all shades and colors, and our hair comes in all different textures. Being biracial, it was definitely difficult identifying with being both black and Chinese. At 5 when I was living in Oakland, I thought being black was the coolest thing to be. When I moved to Fremont, a predominately Asian and white suburb, I seemed to think otherwise. The one quote I do strive to live by is one by Marianne Williamson, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?" Williamson's quote essentially means we all are afraid of something within us, even our past mistakes., but we need to embrace the power that still drives us to be the best we can possibly be.

One of the fantastic aspects to working at PEERS is our values.  Although PEERS is not an age-concentrated organization, we have a fabulous transition age youth program called TAYi (Transition Age Youth Initiative). TAYi serves youth at risk for involvement in the mental-health care, foster care and juvenile-justice systems.  In honor of our values, we have asked the youth in our program to blog about their experiences or what keeps them well.  Thank you for taking the time to read our youths' posts!  
--Letty Elenes
TAYi Coordinator/WRAP Lead
 

Cristina Cross
Holding down a job, internship, apartment, etc. while going to school and dealing with everyday life can be very stressful at times. To help stay above it all and keep from feeling overwhelmed, I like to have some “me time.” My “me time” consists of things that allow me to relax and refresh from everyday stress of going from one responsibility to another. My favorite “me time” activities include: sleeping in on Sunday mornings, getting away on little trips (even if its just to a nearby friend's house that I haven’t seen in a while) and good ol’ retail therapy (if my pockets are up to it). A few more things I enjoy doing include: journaling, working out, eating chocolate, going to places with a nice view, getting a change of scenery and nature walks (I know, it sounds cheesy but it is actually pretty awesome.) There is also great pleasure in doing absolutely nothing but lying around. Balance is the name of the game!

Having time to myself for these activities relaxes me because they are done out of pure recreation. There are no grades or performance evaluation I have to worry about.  No deadlines, set rules or boundaries to follow. I am free to do as I please! Taking out some time for myself keeps me from feeling overwhelmed. It also gives me something to look forward to. Speaking of anticipation, I can’t wait until this weekend where I will be utilizing some “me time” by going on a mini road trip to visit friends and family in LA. I am so excited to switch up my scene and be around loved ones I haven’t seen in a while. I haven’t even left yet and I’m already starting to feel a sense of joy and relief. I don’t get to have "me time" as often as I’d like to.  When I do, I am reminded of how a little bit of space and self- care can help refresh my spirits.

Rocio Elenes
I never thought this day would come, the day I go and choose my prom dress. Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to dress up like a princess.  I didn’t have a Quinceañera so prom was my only chance. I looked online excessively before even going to the mall.  I was so excited to find the dress I wanted. So, I was at the mall with my friend and I see a prom dress store. I walked in and picked out a lot of dresses. I was having problems with the zipper on the first dress. I peeked outside the dressing room for help. I saw all of the other girls with their moms helping them out. I wanted to call out to my friend, but she was on the other side of the store. I tried on the next dress and ran into the same problem. I just needed help. I finally got into one by myself and went outside the dressing room to the mirrors and I loved it. There was just no one else there to love it with me. All of the other girls had their moms with them to tell them they looked wonderful.  The woman who worked at the store told me I looked great just to convince me to buy the dress. That day made me sad. My mom passed away years ago. I didn’t have anyone to tell me how breathtaking I looked. I didn’t want to even go to prom anymore. I started thinking of other excuses of why I shouldn’t go: it was too expensive, I didn’t have a limo, or prom was on a Friday.  Then one random day, my sister said that she wanted to buy me the dress. So I made plans with my sister to go to San Francisco the next day to find one. My sister, my niece, and my cousin all went with me and I was excited again. The first dress I tried on was the perfect one and all of them thought so too. That’s when I realized that my mom was there. She was my sister! My whole family has raised me.  They are who keep me well. They make me feel better even when they don’t even know that something is wrong.

Erica Thompson

Black Jesus
By Erica Thompson
Inspired by the film "Red Tails"

Black Jesus

Wherefore thou Black Jesus

I am hidden in darkness

Ashes

negro the spanish word for black

derogatory derivatives

Why do you call me a Ni---r?

Don't you know its offensive

I am black and beautiful

I fly fighter airplanes

I survive the Germans

Schwartz the German word for black

I am not an Afrikaner

I am a human being

Thank you for taking the time to read our youths' posts! We welcome comments :)

One of the fantastic aspects to working at PEERS is our values. Although PEERS is not an age-concentrated organization, we have a fabulous transition age youth program called TAYi (Transition Age Youth Initiative). TAYi serves youth at risk for involvement in the mental-health care, foster care and juvenile-justice systems. In honor of our values, we have asked the youth in our program to blog about their experiences or what keeps them well. Thank you for taking the time to read our youths' posts!
--Letty Elenes
TAYi Coordinator/WRAP Lead

Pedro Alvarez          
As soon as I arrived to my first TAYi meeting, I felt welcomed and like I belonged. That was huge to me because prior to joining TAYi, I was getting in trouble in the streets with painting, stealing, etc. Basically I was up to no good, which caused my parents to yell and be mad at me. At the time, I hated them for not understanding my lifestyle. Now looking back years later, I understand what they were going through. If it weren't for TAYi, I would still be in what I like to call the “Dead End Lifestyle”. They kept me busy and made me feel important. They gave me jobs and opportunities to make money while doing what I love. One job that really stood out for me was making a mental wellness game board with my fellow youth that reflected my community. My job was to design and draw the game board on a huge canvas. They let me do whatever I want with it so I had a lot of fun.  Months later after the completion, PEERS invited me to present the game in Orland, Florida at the national consumer conference Alternatives! It was an amazing experience. I’m really grateful I found out about the TAYi. I can honestly say if it weren't for it, my life wouldn’t be the same.
 

Angel Cortes
My experience with PEERS and the TAYi has been not only a rewarding experience, but a very fun experience. I have been given the opportunity to express myself and not feel judged or ashamed of whom I am. I’ve been given the opportunity to speak out about everyday TAY problems and ways that we want to change things within the system. As I continue to participate and share my story with peers, providers and consumers, I feel that speaking out has given me an insight as to who I am. And I will continue to advocate for TAY and anybody with mental health issues. I enjoy working with the TAYi and PEERS because the presentations we give have always been from the heart. The trainings we attend are very educational and interesting. I hope to inspire consumers and providers with not only our actions, but also our words. If I had not joined TAYi, I might not been so informed about mental health and events affecting the communities. I never thought I would enjoy working in such a field because I didn’t feel like I would be able to do my part. As I continue work in this field, my ultimate goal is to inform and change the system to something that doesn’t discriminate against mental health consumers.
 

Kimberly Marquez
My experience doing WRAP and recently becoming a WRAP facilitator wasn’t as simple as I had imagined. The whole process was tedious, long, tiring, stressful and irritating. But in the end, it is one of my greatest accomplishments to date. I recall filling out the application and thinking to myself, "This is going to be easy. I already know this and I got this in the bag." Needless to say, that was ridiculous thinking on my part to be so cocky. During the three-day training, I quickly found out that I had to make sure I was well and that my plan was working for me before I could even think about facilitating. After completing the three-day training, I once again said, " Oh five days of this is going to be easy. I’m well; my plan is good so how hard can it be? I’ll just do exactly what the facilitators did and not break a sweat." Well, once again that was one of the most stupid things I could have thought. On day one of the five-day training, I realized this was no joke. If I intended on completing the five-day training and starting my own WRAP group I better know how many sections there are, what are a trigger and wellness tools. So there I was again stuck in my head, thinking I knew it all and realizing I wasn’t even close. After having completed a total of eight full-day trainings and 25 mentoring hour, I wasn’t prepared for the butt kicking I got. I didn’t know that it would be so much work, that I would learn so much and that I would use all of that information in my day- to- day life. Having gone through all that work made me cherish my certificate because I worked hard to get it. Being one of the youngest facilitators certified made me prouder. All I have to say now is I did it !!!

Thank you for taking the time to read our youths' posts! We welcome comments :)

I walked into the main office at PEERS one chilly winter day not knowing what to expect. I was nervous and excited about beginning my first day of working for a consumer-run agency as the Project Coordinator. In my postion, I work on statewide projects that help eliminate stigma and discrimination. As I waited to get set up in my new office, I heard voices of laughter coming from down the hall, and noticed how people appeared to be happy as they came into work to start their day. I was quickly oriented to the workings of my new office and before I knew it, I was ready to begin my first day. I was quickly booked into multiple meetings from San Francisco to Sacramento to learn all about the various projects I would be working on and met many people I would be working with.

Over the next several days I found myself increasingly impressed by how PEERS manages to be a friendly, fun, and professionally- balanced work environment. I’m pleased to say that as I sit in my office writing this blog one month from the day I started, I really appreciate working at PEERS. I'm happy to be a part of an organization that has the capability of making a real difference in the lives of people with mental health issues throughout the state of California. 

Also, since coming to PEERS, I've experienced some mental health symptoms, which for a short time were affecting my ability to sleep. Throughout the experience I felt very much supported and understood, and I appreciated that. I have never worked in a consumer-run organization before and I didn’t know what to expect at first. PEERS has so far exceeded my expectations. I am grateful to be working with the PEERS team who has come to make me feel very welcome in my new job.

An underlying sense of counting down – A rhythm deep: a defeated force has overcome me. I fret and frown only wading in the muck existing here in what is blackened life. Feeling enshrined in overwhelming strife. Darkness is slowly pulling me under. I yell for help but no one is there to hear it. The darkness won't let go of its hold on me. For, I stand at the boundary of light and darkness. All of the strength All of the courage that I once held in my heart is no longer there. No one can save me. I don't want to fight anymore There is no more possibility. Time has come to halt all the pain, so I can now relish into eternity. I want to be gone out of this world of conscientiousness, undetected by the occupants of this world. I've given into darkness. Goodbye forever… Or so I thought. Today, I am alive and I continue to rise! Above is a poem about feelings I have felt about ending my own life. Suicide is a tragic event, and I share my story on surviving suicide to shed light on darkness. I want to cast light into the areas of shadows. This past week, Don Cornelius shot himself in the head, allegedly taking his own life. We lost a legacy that impacted pop culture and gave significant influence to that of black performers. Don Cornelius was the founder and host of Soul Train. However, his son Tony Cornelius said in a CBS interview that his father was "very unhappy about some things" and had health problems. Today I take a stand. It’s time to deal with the horrific pain many people face and help others through their grief, as opposed to them taking their own lives. All creatures instinctually value life. Even a blade of grass or flower fights for the privilege of life. It’s time to listen carefully to the stories of others so our knowledge of suicide can deepen and grow. If we persist in this process, digging and sifting, like rocks beneath the surface of a plowed field; the reality of suicide can end. Some suicides may be sudden and impulsive; others are the result of dealing with hardship and pain over many weeks, months, or even years. From my personal experience, a person who is considering suicide is experiencing severe stress and is at a serious personal crisis. Risk increases as the crisis, or the individual's perception of it, worsens. Feelings of control and self-esteem deteriorate. Shame and guilt may lead to self-alienation and isolation. Suicide is completed when the emotional pain is so unbearable that death is seen as the only relief. Suicide is a result of extreme hopelessness and helplessness. The contemplation of suicide comes to those who feel that nothing or no one can help them. Not only does the person who has taken their life end, suicide has repercussions for everyone involved. The grief it causes is intense and prolonged. The loss of a loved one who committed suicide is forever felt. This I know, because my cousin recently took her own life. Why? I do not know. What I do know is that her face will never be seen again, her voice will never be heard again. She is forever missed and many people have been hurt. The darkness need not surround us! No more struggling… No more pain…. "Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it." ~ By Mother Teresa